As a Mindset Coach, and counsellor I kinda get how our mind works but why is it that a picture from the past can evoke such a strong emotion LOOOONNNG after the event.
Often there is a chain reaction that occurs deep within us sometimes we know it’s happening sometimes we don’t. But it’s true to say that we make a mental marker at that moment in time and tuck it away in a nice warm place deep within us.
Pictures can beautifully sum up everything you want to say, without saying a thing. Let’s face it, some images can be beautiful unto themselves, and words are merely the support act, but some can trigger a feeling inside of us that can set off a whole pathway back to the pain. It’s how trauma works within us.
I actually love this picture of me in my younger days although she was troubled and disconnected, she was happy. I can also identify instantly with the blackness in her eyes and know that her soul was dark. Her eyes a complete reflection of what was happening inside of her. On the other hand damn, that girl knew how to cut loose and have some fun, she was a great dancer even if alcohol fueled, she connected effortlessly with people and laughed a whole lot.
Sometimes what we need to do is look beyond the pain a photo or a picture brings to us and look at all the other great stuff that was happening before or happened after it because there is always some good, always some lightness and happiness EVEN in the darkness.
Try challenging your memory or internal picture in a way that is less emotionally destabilising, ease your mind by using your internal dialogue, telling yourself you are going to look deeper than what you see will give your thinking another thought process to follow, then go beyond what you initially see. The only way to change a story that is fixed deep within you is to re-read the story tell it back to yourself, write it down then look at it, then readjust what was, and replace it with a less harmful or harsh story. It’s not about ignoring what was, it’s about adding to it, unpacking the picture you hold in your mind and undoing the hardwired memories attached to it, so you can look at it differently. By changing or adding to what you hold onto in your memory or mind this will call forward the new memory as well rather than JUST the old one.
To change where you right NOW try this exercise; Look deep at the person you are now in the mirror and ask yourself if you were looking at this reflection that’s before you in 10 years time, what do you want to see looking back and what do you want to be thinking about yourself?
START changing it all now with that frame of mind.
Don’t wait for greatness, peace, and happiness to find you if you don’t have it go hunting for it NOW.